Column Favorites (from Charlotte Parent)

Teeny Tiny Baby

On January 10^th, 2006, Matt and I woke up to a very big surprise. My water broke and I was only thirty weeks pregnant. At first, I attempted to convince us that it simply could not be happening, but a quick call to my doctor had us racing into the office. The news was not good and we were sent to CMC. Josh, it seemed, was coming ahead of schedule.

But he did not arrive. I waited in a tiny room for nine days. It was nine days of relying on my parents, my friends and Matt to run my life and care for Ryan. Our lives revolved around shuffling him to and from and who could pick him up. I could not see him every day. The nursery was not even started. We were not ready for the little man who seemed very ready to meet us.

Matt brought Chinese food to the hospital to celebrate our nine year dating anniversary on the 18^th. I was going crazy in my tiny room. I was unable to get up and walk around for fear of sending me into labor. The doctors and nurses were assuring me that since I was not in active labor, it would be weeks until Josh would arrive. As Matt left to pick up Ryan, I felt a small and sudden pain in my side. I was in labor.

Joshua was born via c-section at 2:13 the morning of the 19^th. His body was thirty-one weeks and five days old. He weighed four pounds and three ounces and true to my words of warning to my OB, he arrived screaming his head off. There was no rush of NICU team. He was breathing. He was tiny, but seemingly fine.

My mom and Matt went down to the NICU. I stayed in recovery and when they returned, their faces told me all I needed to know. I listened as they explained that he was put on a ventilator to help him breathe and that they were watching his dangerously low blood pressure. I heard the words and saw their faces, but the only thing I cared about was getting to my child.

The nurses told me to rest, but when the NICU opened at 7:30, you better believe that I braved the forty-five minutes of pain it took to get me in a wheelchair. I wanted to see my son. I scrubbed in. I put a gown on. I was wheeled into a place I would know forwards in backwards in the coming days. I entered the NICU.

I should have been scared, but I was not. I had plenty of experience with tiny babies and I knew what I would see. Josh was in a warming bed with tubes and wires running all over him. He was tiny and precious. I watched as the monitors showed his heart rate, his breathing and his pulse oxygenation. I watched his tiny chest go up and down.

The next few days were a blur of pumping breast milk, scrubbing in and sitting next to Josh. On the second day, we were able to hold him, though the moving of wires and tubes was difficult. He moved quickly from ventilator to C-PAP to oxygen. He progressed beautifully. We had an amazing nurse who I instantly loved. Leaving him with her, knowing that she would be for him what I would be, is the only way that I was mentally able to be discharged.

To look back at our lives then, it is impossible to believe that I faced each day. I would wake Ryan up, pack his stuff, Josh’s milk and my stuff into bags. I would drop Ryan off at school, go to CMC for a few hours, pick Ryan up and come home. Were it not for the amazing friends that I have who brought me dinners each night, we would have starved. After dinner, we would drop Ryan off with my parents and head back up to CMC to see Josh. We did this every single day for thirty-three days.

That month was the most chaotic of my life, but it taught me so much about myself. I learned to rely on other people. I learned what my breaking point truly is. I saw the best come out in those around me, especially Matt. We watched as our tiny son learned to drink milk and thrive on his own. His battle made all of our efforts seem so small.

We were truly lucky to have friends in the NICU to go through the ordeal with. The things that happened to us, the things that we saw, were extremely hard. A baby died one night in the NICU while we were all there. Getting through that was hard enough and we were so glad to have a couple who we could talk to about what we were feeling.

On February 22^nd, we took Josh home. It was scary. In the NICU, he would stop breathing. I was sure that he would stop at home, so I had to sleep with my hand on his chest. I was sure that I would feel him stop if he did, but that never happened. He just grew into a butterball and filled our lives with joy.

There will never come a January where I don’t think back to those long days in the NICU. I can still see myself sitting in the rocker next to his isolet, watching the numbers on the monitors. I can still see him swimming in the preemie clothes that our friends gave us. To see him now, you would never know how hard his little life once was and how lucky we were back then. We only see how lucky we are now.

Column Favorites (from Charlotte Parent)

Chris’ Little Namesake

When I was sixteen years old, I fell in love while working at the drive-thru at McDonalds. The male voice over the speaker asked if we had any Barbie happy meals left. Once he got to the window and I turned to see him, my life would never be the same. Chris was sitting in his little red
car, green eyes twinkling with mischief. I teased him about wanting the Barbie happy meal toy and he explained that it was for his Great Grandma who collected them. We both laughed and then there was a moment where you could almost feel the universe click into place. After he pulled away, I told my friend Shannon, that he would be back and sixty seconds later he was. He asked for a date and I accepted.

He was my first love, my first real boyfriend. He was a poet and a student of life and everything around him. He was intense and interesting and I was smitten. I met his family and they were all wonderful. I thought he was the one, as sixteen-year-old girls tend to do. We dated for two months before he broke my heart when he decided to go back to college and back to his college girlfriend.

A few years later, as luck and fate would have it, our paths crossed again. It felt like no time had passed and soon we were a couple again. Ours was a very interesting relationship. It was clear to both of us that we were some kind of soul-mates, but on what road we would end up on was anyone’s guess. We just knew that we loved each other. We would go on a date and end up under a tree, singing They Might Be Giants albums by heart until all hours of the night. We just “got”one another..

It became obvious to both of us that we were looking for different things. We broke up on Valentines Day, 1994 after dating for three months. When I received a message to call his parents, twelve years ago today, I never expected to hear what I heard his mother told me. Chris had died. He had been out for his birthday with a friend and had been drinking. He had driven his car into a tree. He held out for as long as he could in a coma, but there was no hope. They had tried to find me, but he had died that morning. He had turned twenty three the day of the crash.

You are never ready to hear something like that. I was devastated. I remember walking through my life like a ghost, not believing anything was real. I went to the calling hours with my best friend, Jen, and there were so many people, we could not even get inside. When we finally managed our way in, Chris’ best friend, Matt was pushing his way through people to get to me. He had never liked me, so you can imagine my surprise when he grabbed me and held me. It seemed as if no one really knew how to handle it.

Seeing Chris lying in the casket was much more than I could bare. There was a picture collage and on it was a picture of Chris and me. It was truly the hardest thing I had ever been through. The funeral was more of the same feeling of drowning while standing. I could not take my eyes off Chris’ Mom. I wondered how she could stand at all. She was so brave.
After the funeral, while people were saying their goodbyes, Matt came over to me. He said that he remembered the first time Chris met me, so many years before. He said Chris lit up when he told him about me and when Matt asked what I looked like, Chris had answered, “She looks like an angel.” It was the best and the worst thing I could have heard. It filled and broke my heart all at once.

We stood there in the gorgeous cemetery that Chris’ parents had found. More of Chris’ friends gathered with us next to the stream and someone quoted the line from Chinatown that Chris had always said. Something so strange happened-we all started laughing. In that moment, he was there with us. Together, we had found a peace.

I never lost track of Chris’ parents. I would meet up with them for lunch. At one point I told them that when I had a son, his middle name would be Christopher. I am not sure they believed me, but when I met and married my Matt, he already knew the plan. The moment the tech told us that Ryan was a boy, his middle name was already set in stone. Matt was only too happy to remember Chris by naming our son for him. He understood how much it meant to me.

Over the years, I have never stopped talking to Chris’ wonderful parents, Bill and Pat. We see them as often as we can, which is usually once a year. When you’ve known people more than half of your life, when at one point you pondered if they would be your in-laws, you have a closeness that makes them family. I marvel at how they have dealt with Chris’ death and the strength that I still see in Pat amazes me.

The last time we saw them, we were at breakfast. I watched as Pat colored with Ryan and it tore at my heartstrings. Like me, she had two sons. My eyes filled at the thought of losing one of my own and my love for her grew, knowing the kind of strength it would take to survive for the other. Their faith helped them through it all and the love of their family made them strong. They had just celebrated the wedding of their other son, Doug. I saw the happiness in their eyes.

Ryan knows he was named for Mommy’s friend who died. He doesn’t understand the details yet, but I hope that knowing them some day will make him understand the dangers of driving and alcohol. I hope that both of the boys will grow up knowing how precious and fleeting life can be. I want Ryan to understand how special he is to be named after someone who was so full of life that he lived his twenty-three years ten times over.
This time of year my thoughts are always of Chris and his family, which is part of our family now. I told his parents once that naming him Ryan Christopher was less of an honor that I thought it would be. I explained that every time Ryan is in trouble, I tend to call him by both names. They smiled. Being mischievous, it seems, runs in the name. Ryan carries a little piece of Chris forward for all of us

Column Favorites (from Charlotte Parent)

Kid Carts

Let’s get one thing straight right off the bat; I love the grocery stores in Charlotte. I almost always find what I need. I love triple coupon time. When my oldest son was younger, he loved riding in the cart shaped like a race car, cookie in one hand and steering wheel in the other. We were great shopping buddies back then.

Then one day he took notice of something that he had never really seen before: the dreaded “shopper in training” carts. You have no doubt seen these little carts, their flags proudly announcing to any unlucky shoppers nearby that a tiny terror is behind the wheel. Now I am sure that there are little girls who push their carts sweetly and help their Moms shop, but I have a four and half year-old boy. Wheels are meant to move fast in his world!

Our trip to the grocery store pretty much always goes the same way. My son walks into the store and grabs himself a little cart. While I am adjusting my baby in the seat of my cart, the oldest typically takes off in search of the cookie bin. The grocers are smart people. They leave their sugar bombs right where my son can easily fuel himself into a insulin frenzy before mowing down innocent folks testing the freshness of the produce. I am right on his heels, trying to throw groceries in my cart while attempting to convince him to stay with me.

Of course, you have no power once they have their own cart. His personal favorite thing to do is a long run and then balances his body on the handle so he can glide through the aisles. I pride myself on trying to have well behaved kids, but with the little carts, all bets are off. I know people must hear my idle threats to take it from him if he doesn’t behave, but he doesn’t hear me. He is talking to the lobsters in the tank.

Don’t get me wrong, he does help. If there is a coupon dispenser, I can always count on him to pull one or twelve of them out and hand them to me with pride. I could do without him running the cart full force into the back of my ankles, but I know it isn’t easy to learn to drive so young. He just wants to have a good time and I can’t blame him for that.

But I do blame the grocery store. The folks behind this idea know just what they are doing. By the time I reach the cereal aisle, he has a few surprise items he has helped himself to in his little basket. He is usually just coming off his sugar high when he sees a box of Lucky Charms or Coco Puffs that he simply must have. Telling him no at this point is dangerous business. We are almost done. I can see the check out. If we can get through the next couple of aisles, we are free and clear. I let him get the cereal. The grocery gods smile and wink at one another.

By the time we reach the check out, I have sore ankles, a cranky baby, only half the food I came for, a tiny cart full of sugar and my son requesting a bag of M & Ms. The candy shelves, perfectly positioned at his eye level, taunt him. While he whines about getting candy, I find myself trying not to eye the bottle of wine in the cart. He sweetly helps to unload his groceries on the belt and while I am wondering where he even found Cheetos, the woman at the register says what a good little helper I have. I know she is right, but I still make a silent promise to myself that next time we are not getting a little cart. I can almost hear the grocery gods laughing.

Column Favorites (from Charlotte Parent)

Jamming with the Oldies

I hate Raffi. I admit it. I really cannot handle the shrill voices of any children’s music. Hearing Hot Potato by the Wiggles makes me want to put ear plugs in. Anything by Barney is a big problem for me. I lived in constant fear that when I had kids, they would make me listen to these scary tunes in my car.

I think this process was worsened by the fact that I was a nanny for over ten years before I had my own children. That’s enough Blues Clues theme songs and Laurie Berkner for anyone. Unfortunately for my little ones, by the time they appeared I was just completely burnt out. Listening to their own music in my car was never an option I even let on that they had..

When I was growing up, I hated listening to the stereo in my parent’s car. My dad was always rocking out to the Eagles, Neil Diamond or some seventies band. We were always forced to listen to a light rock station when I wanted to be listening to Michael Jackson or any of the music of my generation. When I would request (whine) to hear a different station, my dad always answered the same way. “When you get a car of your own, you can listen to any station you would like.”

And as is the case in almost every lesson that our parents teach, the same it true today. I completely understand how my dad must have felt as he whistled his favorite songs while driving in the car because once I had kids; I lived in fear that somehow a Barney cd would sneak its way into my beloved player. Like my dad, I tried early on to introduce the kids to the music that I love. Ryan was listening to Harry Connick Jr. and Dave Matthews. I was laying the groundwork for his future musical appreciation.

Of course, I know that with the invention of the ipod and minivans with DVD players and headphone jacks, arguments over music are a thing of the past. If the boys don’t want to rock out to the Red Hot Chili Peppers when they are in the car with their dad, they can plug in their little devices and hear the music they love.

As much peace as that will bring in the car to all involved, it makes me a little sad too. I learned a lot during long car rides on vacations or quick trips to Grandma’s house. I learned to love music. Even to this day, I can sing you almost any song from 1970 to present day music. On my ipod, Neil Diamond holds a place of honor along with the Eagles and plenty of music that I considered to be my dad’s. If I had an ipod back then, I never would have learned to love different kinds of music.

These days, while driving the kids to and fro and listening to my music, Ryan often wants to watch a movie or hear anything but what we are listening to. I find myself answering him the same way that my dad answered me. He might not appreciate it now, but some day when he’s in high school and he comes down in Matt’s old Chili Peppers shirt, I am going to have a big smile on my face.

Column Favorites (from Charlotte Parent)

Gremlin

I have this tiny gremlin,

That is loose in our big house.

This gremlin is so mischievous,

I would rather have a mouse!

He moves all of my things around,

Each and every day!

I can never quite figure out,

Why things aren’t where they should stay!

This little gremlin sneaks around,

When I forget to look.

He plays with all of Ryan’s toys,

And tears pages from his books.

Every morning I look around,

For my brush to do my hair.

It has always gone missing,

And I never know just where.

He likes to drop things in my tub,

Just why, I do not know.

He likes to hide things in toilets,

So I have to look before I go.

He’ll empty out a trash can,

So fast it will spin my head.

He pulls all the sheets and pillows,

From any given bed.

He takes out all the pots and pans,

And spoons out of the drawer.

I find socks, shoes and earrings,

All over my bedroom floor.

His favorite thing is to throw food

Breakfast, lunch and dinner.

You’d think with that kind of diet,

His tummy would be much thinner.

Don’t let him find a marker,

He’s sure to write on a wall.

When he opens the refrigerator,

Fruit is scattered, bottles fall.

You’d think that I could catch him

Change his ornery ways.

But I’m too busy cleaning up,

The messes where he plays.

But every night he goes away,

And right after his bath,

He smells so sweet and yummy,

I forget my former wrath.

He’ll snuggle in and hug me,

Give me his precious smile.

Somehow I forget it all,

Even if for just a while.

But in the morning, it begins anew,

And there’s a mess by gosh!

Some people might call him a gremlin.

We just call him Josh.

Column Favorites (from Charlotte Parent)

Just Five More Minutes

An annoying sound interrupts my great dream,

Where I am mid-cuddle with Dr. McSteam.

I reach out a hand to do major harm,

To the overused snooze button on my alarm.

I close my eyes and attempt more sleep,

But it is in vain, knowing the schedule I keep.

I get out of bed and prepare to face the scale,

This diet and exercise regime has become stale.

Still the same weight, nothing gained, nothing lost,

I mutter to myself about it being worth the cost.

I pull on my gym clothes and tie up my shoes,

I search around for the hair tie I always lose.

To Ryan's room I make my sleepy way,

To get him up to greet this brand new day.

His response, no surprise, is to turn over in bed,

I tickle his sides and ruffle the hair on his head.

Off to his closet to pick out the day's clothes,

Hoping Mr. Picky won't give me any "no's!"

In Josh's room, his smiling face I meet,

But he has pulled his socks off and has freezing feet.

Time to put his clothes on and the struggle ensues,

If he is this tough now, I really fear his twos!

It is time for breakfast and we all head downstairs,

With me adjusting clothes and patting down hairs.

Ryan goes on the perfect cereal hunt,

Josh doesn't want cheerios, it is milk that he wants.

I start packing Ryan's lunch and cannot forget,

It is show and tell day, so the class snack I get.

I load up the car with return bags and notes,

I wiggle the kiddos into their coats.

Once in the car, Ryan's long list of questions start,

Where do cows come from? Why do we have hearts?

I answer each one the best way I can,

When these get more complicated, I better have a plan.

We pull into the car pool line at his school,

A quick kiss for Mommy because he’s cool..

Josh and I head over to Starbucks for java,

Why must the temp of their lattes be "lava"?

I make some phone calls when we take off;

The fence company, the Dr. about Ryan's cough.

We head to a store, the dry cleaner and bank,

The car needs to be washed and needs a full tank.

Then over to the post office, a package to send,

A new little baby was just born to our friends.

Then to the gym, Josh and I make our way,

A tray full of goldfish ensure he'll have little to say.

All sweaty now, we are off to pick up Ryan,

Who's all jazzed from school and being tryin'!

Then we face what must be my least favorite chore.

Taking both kids to the grocery store!

At home once more I get Josh his lunch,

As he picks through what pieces to toss or to munch.

A load of laundry awaits me in the dryer,

I separate mail and bills and throw away fliers.

Finally, it is time for the best part of the day,

They are ready for naps and have little to say..

With both kids in bed, I head right back down,

I haven't eaten during my day all over the town.

Lunch is gobbled up in bites, here and there,

While cleaning up little shoes left everywhere.

The floor needs mopping, the laundry is ready,

The counters need wiping, wait-is that dried spaghetti?!?

By the time I make it up for my shower,

I can't believe they have been asleep for an hour!

No time to waste, I know we have to go,

We have a play date today, wouldn't you know!

My phone rings and I will it to end,

But luckily the caller ID shows my good friend.

She wants to know if we can do Saturday dinner,

We spend 20 minutes laughing about getting thinner.

I grab Ryan and Josh and get them a snack,

Load them into the car and then have to head back.

In my haste, I forgot my friend's plate,

I really wonder if my brain is just there to decorate.

Play date is such fun, the kids have a ball,

On the way home, I am still making calls.

Then, with horror, I realize I have nothing for dinner,

I rack my brain to come up with a winner.

Veggie stir fry wins, but requires lots of cutting,

Which would be easier without the head butting.

Ryan just want to play with his cars on the floor,

Josh just wants everything from the brother he adores.

Mooooooooooom! I hear and separate the boys,

I take Josh over and give him his own pile of toys.

I set the table, fill the glasses and sigh,

As Ryan announces he won't be eating stir fry.

A click of the lock and Matt's home right at seven,

The boys are elated and are completely in heaven.

We sit down together and everyone eats,

Ryan negotiates eating for dessert treats.

We clean up together and the boys all head to play,

But there will be no break for Mommy today.

In the office I see my inbox of emails is full,

Some from my friends, other projects from school.

I answer each one, but one catches my eye,

A Bahamas vacation package? Oh My!!!

Wouldn't that be nice? Some days on the beach,

Just me and a book, my phone out of reach?

But I snap back just in time to face the wrath,

Of two naked streakers all ready for bath.

Into their jammies and all of their books read,

A snuggle, a prayer and a kiss on their heads.

I put on my pajamas and marvel at the quiet,

After an hour that sounded more like a riot.

We finally make our way downstairs after nine,

Our favorite shows on DVR, so we're fine.

As I pass by the dining room I give a weary look,

To the mess that I am currently calling Josh's scrapbook.

Matt turns to me and asks "How was your day?"

And I think of the many the things I could say.

Do I give him the laundry list that I well should?

I could tell him so much, but I just answer, "Good."

When he asks that question, all I want to do is laugh,

He really doesn't understand that I need a whole staff!

Moms do so much in a day that it's crazy!

It makes his day at the office seem lazy.

I settle on the couch with a nice glass of wine,

We both have our roles and “mommy” is mine,

Tomorrow a new list will wait for a new day,

But tonight I will dream about my little vaca!

Who am I kidding? McSteamy can come too.

Column Favorites (from Charlotte Parent)

Finding Yourself Again

One of the hardest parts about getting older is watching the young woman that you remember being slowly fading away. I know that to look at me, one would never see the girl that I once was; smoking clove cigarettes in old coffee houses, arguing religion, art and literature with friends, writing emotionally complicated poems in my old paisley notebook. Instead, I have become this polished Charlotte woman and I am a mere shadow of that free-spirited girl that I so dearly loved and miss.

I had a chance to catch a glimpse of her again this past weekend. Matt decided to take me on a little romantic vacation and the location was a huge surprise. He would not even give me a hint as we drove and I immersed myself in magazine after magazine, a luxury I can never seem to find time for. When I finally lifted my head, I was delighted to see we were heading towards Asheville.

I have heard nothing but wonderful things about Asheville and as Matt pulled the car into a spot at the Grove Arcade, I could see why. There were artists peddling their beautiful works on the tables outside the shops. Everywhere I looked, there were galleries and coffee shops. I was absolutely in heaven.

While I love Charlotte and promote it constantly to friends who I would love to lure into living here, the newness of the city and lack of culture has been a shock to my system. Where I grew up, the houses were all older and had amazing charm (and didn’t actually cost close to a million dollars like the homes in Dilworth can.) It was hard for us to buy a house that looks like every other in the neighborhood when our hearts were set on a craftsman house.

In Asheville, I not only found a city that I now love, I found a little piece of myself that had long been hidden. Matt and I strolled through antique stores and were inspired by the pieces. We playfully argued about which photograph to purchase in one of the galleries. We held hands and walked along the sidewalk until we had found a print that we both adored.

Matt had made a reservation at the Residences at Biltmore. http://www.residencesatbiltmore.com/home.php Now, I know there are many gorgeous bed and breakfasts in Asheville, but believe me when I tell you that out suite was incredible. There were granite countertops, a gigantic shower, a flat screen tv, robes and slippers and a wonderfully appointed little deck, complete with table and chairs. The woman from the front desk actually walked us to our room and showed us around. I was ready to stay forever.

Matt had reserved a table at the Corner Kitchen, a quaint house turned restaurant. http://www.thecornerkitchen.com The food was amazing. We started with the calamari and crab corn soup, which was hot and spicy and marvelous. We both had the filet, which was one of the best I have ever had. We popped into a coffee house for dessert and coffee. We laughed, we talked and we fell in love all over again.

The next morning, we had a terrific breakfast at a spot called the Early Girl Eatery. http://www.earlygirleatery.com We loved their pumpkin ginger bread, slathered in butter. The eggs and toast were a triumph, mostly because everything they use is local and organic. The mimosas? Don’t get me started. Fresh squeezed orange juice with just the perfect amount of champagne.

We walked the streets, held hands and had a ball. We drove around looking at houses that we would die to own. We marveled at this town, nestled between the mountains and wondered how one place had so much character. We even made a stop at the Grove Park Inn, which was spectacular.

It was the perfect weekend in the perfect town. I felt as though someone had turned a light on inside me which had been off for some time. I cannot begin to tell you how highly I recommend a weekend away to Asheville with your husband. It in not only good to recharge the batteries and let some romance in, but you may be surprised who you find there. You might just find yourself.

Charlotte Observer Article on YMCA (March 2008)

Link to the Article

SLEEP UNDER THE STARS ON SATURDAY

Take your family camping at the YMCA

KELLY YALE

Special to the Observer

Families in the Ballantyne area will not have to leave Charlotte to enjoy camping this weekend, as the Morrison YMCA will be hosting the Family Camp Out on Saturday.

Families from the area are invited to bring their tents, sleeping bags and flashlights. Check-in will be at 4 p.m. in the Bojangles' Open Air Pavilion, where most of the activities for the night will take place.

To encourage family bonding, there will be team building activities. Each family will work on a skit before dinner to present to the rest of the campers after dinner. There will be a prize for the best family sketch.

"This is an incredible opportunity for families to bond and have some family fun. It is a way to enjoy camping without having to travel," said Laura Smith, associate executive director of programming for the Morrison YMCA.

The YMCA will provide food and drinks for the evening. Tijuana Flats will cater dinner and campers will make their own tacos, burritos and nachos.

Once dinner is through, families will act out their skits for the enjoyment of all. A bonfire will be built where campers of all ages can roast marshmallows and hear a story.

The night will end with a movie on the projection screen in the pavilion. Campers will then head to the soccer fields to cozy up in their tents.

Some parents with smaller children are encouraged to come and enjoy the evening, even if they choose not to spend the night.

The forecast for Saturday evening predicts temperatures in the uppers 30s to low 40s. Campers should dress warmly and pack extra clothing and blankets. In case of rain, the tents will be moved into the gym.

A breakfast of bagels, fruit, orange juice and milk will await campers in the morning. The event ends at 8 a.m.

The fee for the evening is $25, which covers all costs involved.

The Morrison YMCA is located at 9405 Bryant Farms Road. For more information or to reserve your spot, contact Jessica White, family program director, at 704-716-4650.

Charlotte Observer Article on Rebecca Pham (March 2008)

Link to the Article

Pham headed to oratorical finals

KELLY YALE

Special to the Observer

Rebecca Pham, a sophomore at East Mecklenburg High School, will represent North Carolina in the American Legion National High School Oratorical Contest.

The national contest will be April 4-6 at Purdue University in Indiana.

Pham began her journey as a speaker when her teacher, Martha Deiss, asked Civics and Economics students if they would like to participate in East Mecklenburg's oratorical contest. Three students presented speeches in front of teachers from East Mecklenburg's scholarship committee.

Pham was chosen from that group and went on to win the county contest. She traveled to Raleigh, where she won the state competition with her speech, "Civic Duty: The Heart of American Democracy."

Her speech covered a variety of topics, from the crisis in Darfur to the Bill of Rights. Pham also won a $2,000 scholarship.

The national contest is hosted by the American Legion, a veterans group that has sponsored the event since 1938.

The purpose of the contest is to inspire leadership in young people, deepen their understanding of what it means to be a citizen and enhance their knowledge of the Constitution.

"I believe in being active in our government because the Constitution provides us with many freedoms that inhabitants of other countries cannot enjoy," Pham said.

She also participates in the student government at East Mecklenburg, where she is on the student board. She plans to run for president of the junior board next year, while continuing her extracurricular activities -- theater, swimming and dance.

She also is a straight-A student while taking classes in the International Baccalaureate program, which combines academic success with community service. "It connects you to the world and allows you to analyze things differently," she said.

Pham is teaching dance to some of her fellow students after school for her I.B. project, which she will write an essay on later.

"Rebecca is just a phenomenal individual," Deiss said. "The other kids love her. She gets along with everyone."

Deiss, Pham and a group of East Mecklenburg students, traveled last week to Raleigh to participate in the "We the People" speaking contest at Peace College. Deiss' students did not formally compete.

Pham is the daughter of Loi and Thuy Pham of Matthews. They will travel with her to Purdue.

Each night, Loi helps Rebecca practice her oration.

"Her parents are wonderful and so supportive," Deiss said.

Loi said, "We are blessed to have good children who grow up to be good citizens. We are so happy that Rebecca is willing to extend her ability at a young age to test her limits.

"We are trying to do our best to give our kids what we could not have at their age. We are pleased that Rebecca took advantage of that opportunity to enhance and enrich her life."

The winner of the American National High School Oratorical Contest will win a college scholarship worth $18,000, with second- and third-place finishers receiving $16,000 and $14,000.

National contest participants will give the speeches that won the state competition. Each student also has been given four topics regarding the Constitution that they need to be well-versed in.

The judges will choose one topic and the student will have five minutes to prepare before speaking to that topic.

Charlotte Observer Story (March 2008)

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PROVIDENCE SPRINGS ELEMENTARY

To South Africa with love for orphans

Taking their lessons to heart, 2nd-graders raise more than $1,000

KELLY YALE

Special to the Observer

A lesson about South Africa led six classes of second-graders at Providence Springs Elementary to raise more than $1,000 to support a small orphanage there.

When Mandy de Graaf learned that her twin daughters, Kendra and Dayle, would be studying South Africa for Providence Springs' Celebration of Nations, she was delighted. A native of South Africa, she and her family moved to America shortly after the girls were born.

She volunteered to help the class learn firsthand about South Africa, both its beauty and its poverty. De Graaf told the classes about an orphanage that their family had been supporting called TLC ministries.

"The children in South Africa are abandoned on the streets and most of the babies are HIV-positive," de Graaf said. "We have so much to be grateful for in this country. We want our children to understand the importance of reaching out in the world."

The students and teachers were so moved, they decided to host a carnival to raise money to send to the orphanage. The six second-grade teachers (Teresa Fletcher, Jacki Chapman, Sarah McMurray, Cynthia Patterson, Vicki Baker and Lisa Rankin) along with their teacher assistants (Indu Minisandram, Gretchen Pistorio and Joyce McGarry) began planning the event with their students.

The fundraiser -- African Night Out -- took place Dec. 20 and drew 110 children. The teachers and aides hosted the students for the night, and the parents were asked to make a $10 donation to the cause, though many gave more.

The second-graders had their faces painted, made African crafts, played African games and even had African dance lessons from de Graaf. Cynthia Patterson played African drums, which Providence Springs had purchased through a grant from Arts Teach.

"It was so great to see how everyone came forward to see the similarities we all have. And we had so much support from the parents," said teacher Jacki Chapman.

Each child also made a card for the African children, which was sent along with candy and the donation to the orphanage.

"We got to raise money for people who need it more than we do," said student Jack Fernandez.

The teachers were overwhelmed by how much the school came together to help. "It really does take a village. Our entire Providence Springs Elementary ...community really stepped up to help those less fortunate than us ... from the teachers, kids, parents, administration, all the way to our maintenance crew," said teacher Sarah McMurray.

Another teacher, Teresa Fletcher, was excited to see the lessons learned in the classroom apply to real life. "We focus on character education and teach children about respecting others' differences."

The impact of $1,000 for the orphanage, which relies entirely on donations, was huge. A baby can be sponsored for about $541 a month. The money goes toward such simple necessities as blankets and towels, as well as school supplies for the K-12 school run by the orphanage.

"They have no moms and dads. They need books to read and blankets and pillows. It is good to give kindness and make it so their lives could be healthier," said 8-year-old Kendra de Graaf.

Her twin sister could not agree more. "We shared love and care. We shared money because they don't have everything we have," Dayle de Graaf added.

The second-grade teachers plan to keep the tradition of African Night Out alive each year and hope to strengthen their bonds through letter-writing in the years to come.

For more information, visit www.tlc.org.za.

Charlotte Parent Vintage Nursery Article (March 2008 Issue)

When Kerry Leasure found out three years ago that she was pregnant with her first daughter, she knew instantly that she wanted to design her dream vintage nursery. She envisioned a nursery right out of the pages of the Velveteen Rabbit and Peter Pan, a place where her daughter, Annie, would feel like her toys might actually come to life. “I found some old nursery rhyme prints and Swan Soap ads from the 30’s and just fell in love with the style,” she said.

Vintage nurseries are becoming a very popular and original choice for parents who want to stray away from typical nursery themes. Sites like http://www.thebabygardner.com have made it much easier for parents to locate wonderful decor and clothing options for their children. The site owner, Deanna Gardner, has seen the market grow for vintage items in the last few years.

A graphic designer from Birmingham, Alabama, Deanna began to design her own vintage items seven years ago, when she found out she was pregnant with her first child. Her business grew to the point where she launched her own website which features handmade clothes, accessories and stationary from Deanna and other vintage artists around the country. She said, “I think more and more moms are being drawn to the nostalgia and charm of days gone by.”

Deanna suggests, “When choosing colors, my best advice is to find a little inspiration. Open a vintage children's book and pick out an adorable illustration or find a vintage-inspired fabric you can’t live without. Chocolate brown with pale pinks or light blue are a very popular color combination right now.”

Finding the perfect items for your nursery may take some serious hunting. With two vintage nurseries under her belt (she gave birth to another daughter, Dot, last spring) Kerry suggests the Metrolina Expo for amazing antique finds. “I found Annie’s rocking chair covered in horrid green fabric and sitting in a mud puddle. I bought it for $70 dollars and reupholstered it myself. Dot’s dresser was also an Expo find for $75. It needed a good cleaning, but Pottery Barn sells things that look distressed for four times the price!”

As for the décor, she discovered incredible quilts, wall hangings, and vintage toys on eBay. When she could not find bedding that suited the style of the nurseries, she went to Mary Jo’s in Gastonia and made the curtains and bedding herself. “The bedding wasn’t perfect,” she laughs, “but my number one rule is just not to look at the back of anything I have sewn!”

Kerry also suggests drawing inspiration from local stores such as the Sleepy Poet off South Boulevard. and websites like www.landofnod.com or www.poshtots.com. “You can find wonderful ideas on the web and even stores like Marshall’s and make them your own for much less. Target will even surprise you with great pieces at good prices.”

The girls’ charming nurseries (pictured below) work perfectly in the Leausre’s restored 1930’s Dilworth home. “I have loved that era,” she said. “I enjoy older items that feel loved and touched by other people. It feels like a kind of kinship. The girls’ nurseries are also full of toys and books from my husband’s and my childhood. ”

“It takes a lot of work to put a nursery like this together, but I didn’t mind. Each treasure is just an expression of how much I love my girls. And when it is time for a tea party, or just jumping on the bed, I feel a little thrill that they have a cozy special space to grow up in.”

If you are interested in finding pieces for a vintage nursery, the Metrolina Expo has their annual Antiques and Collectibles Show April 4-9^th. More information can be found at http://www.metrolinaexpotradeshow.com.

Charlotte Parents Sewing Article (March 2008)

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Moms Find Clothes Sew Easy Finding the perfect outfit for your child can be a daunting task, but have you considered making your child’s clothing? An increasing number of women are turning away from the mall and heading for their sewing machines Sewing is becoming very en vogue with young mothers who are looking for a custom look without the large price tag.

Kelli Masilun of Charlotte came from a family where sewing had been lovingly passed down through the generations. That inspired Kelli to get her degree in fashion design from the University of Kentucky. After college, she worked as a designer for Guess Juniors, but it took having children to turn her attentions to sewing her own designs.

“My daughter went through a stage of only wanting to wear dresses,” Kelli said. “I wanted dresses that were casual and cute, but wearable.” She began designing A-line jumpers in fun fabrics that were reversible so they could be practical. Her hobby became a business when friends began ordering dresses. She started www.prissyfit.com last year and it has been her passion since.

Shannon Hawk, mother of two young girls in Waxhaw, found herself searching for clothing that was unique and stylish that wouldn’t break the bank. She began using fabric and ribbon to embellish her girls’ jeans and before long she was making complete outfits for her daughters. “I loved the boutique style, but not the prices. Making my own clothing lets me pick the perfect fabric for their clothes and create something wonderful.”

Shannon suggests starting off easy. “One of the cutest and simplest sewing designs is the pillowcase dress. You only need a pillowcase, ribbon and your sewing machine.” Detailed directions for the dress can be found at this link.

Hancock Fabrics offers beginning sewing classes that teach novices everything from patterns to cutting to working your sewing machine. Check their Web site for a location near you and to see when classes are offered in your area.

Many websites have very helpful hints and even free patterns. Try www.sewing.com or www.sewing.org for useful help from the pros.

Charlotte Parent Christmas Photo Article (December 2007 Issue)

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Say Mistletoe! Taking Holiday Photos My family adores receiving photo cards during the holidays and opening each one like a little gift. We also love sending photo cards as it allows our friends and family all over the country to see how our children have grown. But putting together the perfect card is often an ordeal for all involved.

Writing and mailing holiday cards can be daunting enough, but taking the perfect picture of your family can be stressful. From shopping for the perfect outfits to coaxing smiles and eye contact out of children, the anxiety may have you reaching for the spiked eggnog. And that’s before you brave the post office lines!

Professional photographer Tracey Bower is the mother of two young boys and understands how difficult it can be to capture the ideal shot. “It is much easier to photograph other children than it is to photograph your own. My kids are always running in two separate directions.”

If you choose to take the picture yourself, Bower suggests trading photography favors with a friend. You can take their photos and have them take yours. That frees you to jump up and down and clown for their smiles and promise shopping sprees at the candy store if they will just look into the lens.

As for the biggest mistake that people tend to make when taking their own pictures for cards, Bower says, “People tend to not crop in close enough. Having too much in the background can be distracting. The focus should be your family.”

Luckily, once you have selected your favorite shot, the possibilities are endless. Sites like www.tinytots.com have adorable cards with fresh, contemporary backgrounds. www.shutterfly.com and Target have great photo cards at reasonable prices, too!

Or you can just leave it up to the pros to create the perfect card for you. We had our family pictures taken this year. They came out perfectly and with our sanity still in check. Instead of photos of tears (from me), we are all smiles.

Charlotte Parent Brithday Party Article (October 2007 Issue)

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How Many Is Too Many? Like most children, my son, Ryan, was discussing his dream birthday party for months leading up to the actual event. He was certain that he wanted a Spiderman theme and ice cream sundaes in lieu of a birthday cake. He wished to fill our backyard with pools and waterslides and have all of his friends there. Everything seemed simple enough until we started the guest list.

Ryan began naming off pals faster than I could write them down. A quick head count gave me the news I was dreading; we were inviting 27 kids. We felt compelled to include everyone who invited us to their party, but between school, neighborhood and family friends, we ended up a little over our heads. A nervous feeling started sinking in as I set up almost 30 goody bags. Had we made a huge mistake?

On the day of the party, my husband took the day off work and we began setting up at 11 a.m. for the 4 p.m. birthday extravaganza. We began filling pools and waterslides with air. We set up toys and play areas. We filled over 100 water balloons. It took every minute of the five hours to set up. I scooped ice cream into 27 bowls. We barely managed a shower before the first little knock on the door.

When our short guests arrived, they went right to work enjoying themselves. The water balloons that took an hour to fill were gone in less than one giggling minute. They gobbled down ice cream sundaes and ran around having a blast. They squirted one another with water guns and dined on snack of all kinds. My son was in heaven to be celebrating with so many fun friends that he loved.

After the last child left, we went into the backyard to survey the damage. It looked as if we had hosted Mardi Gras for 5-year-olds. There were pieces of balloon as far as the eye could see. The sandbox had been looted and wet sand had been thrown all over the fence. Crepe paper and mulch littered the pools. Juices boxes doubled as lawn ornaments and ice cream and sprinkles were smeared all over the table and doors.

My husband and I stood there in shock. Slowly, we began to clean and empty water and air from pools and slip and slides. We were quiet in our work, the only sound coming from Ryan as he delighted in his new birthday gifts. We took a break to have dinner and put the kids to bed, but it took us until midnight to set our house right.

Ryan only remembers that his party was wonderful and all the kids had a grand time. That was what mattered, after all, but we learned a lot having hosted a party of this size. Here are some friendly tips from one Mom to another:

1. Invite one guest per year of age. Five guests for a five year old is a good number. Twenty-seven is exhausting!
2. Having a party at home is not easier or less expensive. Make sure to factor in the hours it will take you to set up and clean up when you are considering places to host your party.
3. All parents understand how daunting the task of inviting everyone to a soiree. Explain to the parents of close little friends that you are having a small affair and that you would love to have them over for a play date soon.
4. If you are planning a party during the week, have your husband take a vacation day from work. Having an extra pair of hands is the best gift you can get!
5. Take it from me; water balloons are evil. Kids love them, but you will never stop finding tiny pieces of latex and your fingers will be sore for days from filling so many.

Perhaps the most important lesson that I learned is that kids are going to have a blast wherever they are whether there are five kids or 50. If they can be silly and have fun, that is all that really matters to them. Next year, though, I think six kids will do. My husband and I are just too old to party like it is Mardi Gras.